1. In what ways is growing up challenging for Milkman?
2. Macon, Milkman's father, says terrible things about his sister and about his wife. Can we believe him?
3. Could it be said that, among other agendas, the author has a feminist agenda? That is, is she interested in the justice or injustice of the way women are treated by men?
Growing up is a difficult thing, but for Milkman, growing up is a monstrous feat. He was not nurtured as a child , and has lived in a volatile environment in which his role models strike out at one another. He is forbidden to talk to his aunt and her family, even though they are his family too. This sour atmosphere leads to a difficult maturity, and at the end of chapter three, Milkman is suffering the woes of knowledge. He has finally been enlightened by his father as to the history of his parents quarrels. He doesn't want to know about them, but now he that he does he can't push the horrid stories from his mind. The terrible things his father told him disgust and confuse him, just as he is about to become truly grown up. All of these things cause Milkman to have a hard time as he begins to reach maturity. He hasn't been shown love, has been forbidden to seek it, and at a precious moment has discovered a questionable family secret making his life truly difficult.
ReplyDeleteIn this chapter I really found that there was a taste of Milkman’s egotistical manner. Milkman knows only of a lush life in which he does what he wishes. Milkman’s life at this time is very different from other blacks lives that lived in fear. Also, when guitar brings up the boy that was stomped to death in Sunflower County, Mississippi Milkman almost disregards it thinking that it is irrelevant to his own happiness. Female affection is really easy for him to get as he can decide in a whim if he will sleep with Hagar or not. Not only that but, his mother Ruth seems to give all her love to him. When Milkman hits his elderly father, defending his mother, in a way he realizes he did it for himself. Milkman wants to prove his manliness. Poor Guitar listens to everything that Milkman says and won’t sympathize with a single word that Guitar says back. Milkman’s behavior can been seen as being egotistical, and I think we get our first taste of that aspect of his character in this chapter.
ReplyDeleteI personally do not believe Macon's story 100%. Though he tells Milkman the "truth" with a fire and eagerness in his eyes after the episode at dinner, there seems to be a piece missing. Macon only assumes these things about Ruth and her father are true because of feelings hes gotten. The only time he had ever gotten true evidence was the night the doctor had died. Macon goes really far with his questioning of his own daughters really being his own. Macon's response to his feelings of Ruth's strange nature is to hit her and constantly remind her of his hatred. Why hadn't he left at the start? Is the story of his hatred really about the relationship between his wife and her father, or the fact that Ruth always got her way? Is it possible that money is the real influence here?
ReplyDeleteIn this reading, I realized how complicated Milkman's life and family really is. Prior to this, I viewed his family as having a dramatic turmoil that separates them all, and just stubborn people involved. However, that isn't everything to it...
ReplyDeleteI feel pity for everything that Milkman has to go through with his family, and more specifically the information that he has to deal with about his family's history. I can't believe that Macon is so abusive with his wife, and I cann't understand why he is always filled with so much unexplained, unhealthy, devilous, hatred for his poor wife, Ruth. Then, once Milkman defends his mom, and knocks his mean, controlling dad over on the radiator, I feel so liberated, and happy, that he finally stands up to the dictator of the household. Macon then explains the reason why he hit his mother, and didn't regret it or apologize for doing it, and it being because he had suspicious thoughts that his wife had a sexual relationship with her father. He even considers the thought that his kids aren't his, but the mere product of his wife and her dad. He gets scared that Ruth had a secret love affair with her dad, even past Macon and her were together as a couple. Then I feel much more sympathy for Macon, pity for Milkman to have to find all of this disturbing information out, and disgust that the mother could possibly be so insecure as to act in an inappropriate manner to the man that's closest to her. She also breast fed Milkman to an inappropriate age, when he was already wearing "knickers" and he could talk. She knew this was wrong, especially after her father, but she did it anyway. That's why Milkman has always been tortured by his humiliating name.
This brings about doubts in Milkman's mind that if people ever really loveed him for being him. He feels unloved by many people around him, and used, and then I really felt pity for him.
I think that Macon has a problem with owning things. He even tells Milkman that the most important thing to remember in life is to own things. He keeps this grudge against his wife for all of these years, keeps it a secret, and hates her eternally for it. He never forgives her. I think that's when he realizes that he never "owned" Ruth. All of her decisions were made depending on her daddy's decision, she always showed loyalty to him, she never was in love with Macon, and she never gavein to his ideas and beliefs. He realizes that she was never his, but she will always be her "daddy's daughter." He doesn't like to know this fact. Very disfunctional relationship, if you ask me.
Questions: Why do Milkman's sisters stare at him with a glare of hatred once he knocks his dad over, and defends his helpless mom? I thought, that if anything, they would be on their mom's side, and be happy that Milkman stood up for their mom for once in her life...?If Ruth wanted some masculine attention and company then why didn't she just go to her husband for that???
Very interesting read... :P
I think That Milkman has truly had a terrible time growing up. Throughout his childhood, he has been given a nickname that he could not possibly understand, and must be feeling confused and vulnerable. And to have such an unstable and really unpleasant household has not helped him mature or grow up one bit. How could he have learned how to act like a man in a household with such a man as his father? He has to deal with his father's disgust for him, which must have had a terrible psychological toll on the boy. He has had all of these factors pressing in on him as he was growing up, which has truly messed up his ego. A boy cannot become a man under these circumstances.
ReplyDeleteOne thing that I did not understand in this reading was why Milkman's sisters look at him with such a look of hatred after he pushes his father away from their mother. You would think that they would be greatful someone finally stood up to their dad, but maybe they already know the truth about Ruth, and Milkman is the last to know. This chapter makes me wonder: if there was a situation in my life similar to the one in MIlkman's life, would I want to know the truth? After Milkman finds out about Ruth and the Doctor's relationship, he is repulsed. He says he would rather have stayed "not a whole man" than know the truth about his mother. Would I want to know the truth about something like this? Is it better to be in the dark, or to have knowledge? Is ignorance really bliss? If Milkman had never learned the truth, he may always have seen his father as a bully. Now, he sees his mother in an entirely new light, but he never really loved her to begin with, so does it matter? This knowledge helps him to come to his own discovery about his nickname, which further drives his disgust toward his mother. Milkman does not seem to have much love within his family, directed toward him or from him toward others.
ReplyDeleteResponse to Question 1:
ReplyDelete"Growing up", is a term that is often used in place of "maturity". To be mature means to be; cultured, socially aware, able to love, able to be love, and an over all comfortability with ones own skin, and a comfortability with the encounters and interaction he faces.
Milkman has not been given the opportunities to mature. Mainly because of his family dynamic. For example, his family is one that is not as "lovey dovey" as others may be. It is also concerning to think that Milkman, ontop of trying to mature, is dealing with a large burden; the family secret.
All of these factors cause Milkman to be practical in situations that call for practicallity, such as anything involving common sence. However these factors also cause a stunt in the personal growth that Milkman lacks.
I believe that maturity is a never ending journey, and one is always maturing. But the sign of a person very close to the end of their journey on maturity, is that they were personally growing in an atmosphere of wise freedom. That way the person has the freedom to grow in their own direction and mature the way they were "meant" to.
Milkman does not have this opportunity and seems to be maturing in his own way- a hybrid between what was just described, and what he can get away with in his house hold, in terms of freedom.